mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
i fuckin hate how daisy goes ”WOOHOO” when she passes u in mariokart. especially when ur like tied with her so all u hear is WOOHOO WOOHOO WOOHOO WOOHOO WOO FUCKING HOO
*puts my bro’s dick in my hand*
see, its a metaphor. it’s only gay if i jack it
See, I never jacked it, only put in in the middle of my hand. It can turn me gay but I’m not giving it the power to. A metaphor.
giant starbucks cup walks late into class holding a small human